Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse - A Malibu Summer Night's Dream
by NotRyan
Summary: A Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse fanfiction. Ryan is yet again trying to woo Barbie, and this time, he's sure it'll work! However, in a turn of events, Barbie no longer seems to be the one on his mind... Or his heart.
1. Chapter 1

It was a warm afternoon in Malibu. The sun was shining over the oversized plastic dreamhouse. Parts of the dreamhouse were close to melting, not just because of the heat from the sun, but due to the hotness of a certain somebody (not Ken) who was passing by; Ryan, of course. Because he's really hot. Have you seen his hair? I'd like to touch it, and I can guarantee that you would too.  
In yet another attempt to capture the heart of the Aryan Malibu sweetheart – that was, Barbie, of course, the epitome of perfection (and white privilege) –Ryan decided that the beauty was most vulnerable to Ryan's romantic swag as she watered plants under the scorching Malibu sun. He wouldn't want that, would he? A beautiful doll like her melting on such a day would be disastrous!

And so, he would wait; wait for her to come outside. She would see Ryan, who would look extremely handsome, as usual, and would woo her by offering to water her plants in her place on such a warm summer's day.

As he waited, Ryan decided it would be best to practice his charm on a nearby fern, a sculpted silhouette of our golden haired goddess. Surely she and the fern were _somewhat_ alike? If they were, then it would be perfect for practicing! Ryan cleared his throat and began to speak with his melodious, god-like voice.

"As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in plastic heaven  
Would through the glittery region stream so bright  
That plastic birds would sing and think it were not night.  
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!  
O, that I were a glamorous ring upon that hand,  
That I might touch that cheek!" he sang, flashing an award-winning smile at the bush.

Ryan gracefully twerked away from the shrubbery, his masterfully sculpted plastic ass vibrating as he did so. He decided he had better not melt the heart of the innocent bush for any longer. No, the heart melting would be reserved for Barbie!

Ryan waited and waited, his determination not deteriorating, just like his hair. His, pretty, pretty hair. However, as the Malibu sun began to set, Ryan felt his eyelids grow heavy. Being a heavy sleeper, it did not take long for him to all of a sudden collapse on the porch in front of the dreamhouse, cuddling his blue guitar as he slept. Nobody noticed because nobody really cared.  
Except for one person.


	2. Chapter 2

Ryan awoke to the feeling of muscular plastic arms cradling him as he sucked his thumb like he always dreamed Barbie would suck on his d-

Wait… Muscular arms? Ryan opened his eyes to see none other than Ken, his gelled hair almost aflame in the moonlight. Ryan let out a gasp, before quickly shutting his eyes again, hoping Ken wouldn't find him to be awake. This was embarrassing… He could feel his cheeks burn with both bashfulness, and unexpected desire.

Ken's chest was warm. He hated to admit it, but it felt… Nice… Having his head lean against his plastic chest. Wait, was that gay? Ryan was not homosexual. Obviously.

Before he knew it, Ryan was inside the dreamhouse, curled up on the couch, right next to Ken. He could sense that Ken had his eyes upon him. It made Ryan's stomach flutter, and he didn't know why. Maybe even the presence of someone so ugly and talentless was enough to make Ryan sick? He hoped to God he didn't have diarrhoea. Getting muddy brown poop stains on Barbie's couch was certainly not part of the plan.

The two just stayed there for a while. Ryan was still pretending to be asleep, hoping that Barbie would soon enter. Ken, however, sat upright, resting a hand on Ryan's waist. Occasionally, he'd do something like run a hand through his hair or grasp his hand. Ryan didn't understand… What was this feeling? He knew he should be pushing the other away, but it just felt too good to have this kind of closeness.

At the same time, it all felt so wrong, though; Ken was dating Barbie. He seemed so determined to be some sort of sappy "perfect boyfriend" – though obviously he never succeeded, because in reality Ryan was the perfect boyfriend – and was so caring towards Barbie. Usually, if he saw Ryan, he'd immediately start an argument, or try kick him out. Why was he doing this..?

Suddenly, Ryan felt Ken shuffling around. Was he finally going to throw him out? No, he wasn't… What he did next shocked Ryan. A lot.  
He felt a warm hand lovingly stroking his cheek, and next thing he knew there was a pair of hard, plastic lips pressed against his own. His eyes widened in shock. It was Ken. Ken was kissing him. On the lips. That was _so_ homosexual.

But… it wasn't bad. Ryan returned the kiss on impulse, passionately raising his arms to wrap them around the other doll's neck. Yes, this was what he wanted. He should have known. It wasn't Barbie – it was never Barbie – it was always just Ken. He had been seeking his attention for so long, and now he had it, he didn't want to let go.

The two sat there in a tight embrace, their lips never parting, for the longest time. They would totally have used tongues but they were unable to move them in such a way. Just that closeness was good enough, though, for Ryan. Tongues were icky and slimy, anyway. (Though Ryan didn't hesitate to write to the Barbie company, asking for models with tongues that could easily move)

Eventually, the two parted, and just stared into each others' eyes – beautiful, beautiful eyes - which had been skilfully painted on by some lady in a Chinese sweatshop.

"Y…You…" started Ryan. Though, he didn't quite know what to say. He looked at Ken.

"I… Y-You… You were singing in your sleep, a-and I thought that was the best way to shut you up!" Ken exclaimed, folding his arms. He was looking away in embarrassment. Though Ryan was happy, he was excited, and he felt his heart was about to burst, he could never let an insult like that slide. His voice was fucking amazing, and he was extremely talented!

"What!? You're lying! You like me, don't you!? Don't insult the great and talented Ryan just because you're embarrassed!" he complained, cheeks turning bright red.  
Ken smirked and leaned in close, wrapping his arms around Ryan's waist, letting his hands go lower and lower.

"Well… Why don't you show me just how talented the 'great and talented Ryan' really is? And in exchange, I'll show you some of _my_ talents."


End file.
